Friday, February 6, 2009
Defining Ourselves
All this talk about what people do to define ourselves has got me thinking. I am going to disagree with some of the comments that people have made in class on how it is not important. Defining ourselves is important I have lived 21 years and have continuously been attempting to develop me. It is a lot of work to create a good identity that everyone can recognize you with. I have found very few people that are similar. We are all so unique and I find it important to know who I am. This is different than judging someone on what they do or believe. I may not agree with everything someone does but in the end it doesn’t matter. When I have a baby girl chances are there will be overwhelming amounts of soft pink. I am okay with that. It does not mean that she won’t have cute yellow, green, even blue outfits but what she wears should clearly define that she is a girl. Frankly I don’t want their identity mistaken. Identifying yourself as female or male should be encouraged. Men and Women are not the same. We use different products go to different bathrooms there are differences. Not understanding where you lay in society can create large amounts of confusion. I do not see anything wrong with creating a “girl” identity for a baby girl. To me it makes sense.
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2 comments:
It's confusing to say the least to picture a world so unisex that on first sight, no one should be able to tell whether you'd come upon a male or a female. To think about the absence of social cues, such as the man and woman icons pointing to a dressing room, or toilet, or the courtesies associated with gender, like the yielding of a seat in the subway to a pregnant woman leads to what feels positively artificial and stilted.
You are correct, I don't feel a little child really cares if he's in blue, or she's in pink. But the fact that we from so early on condition ourselves to gender roles makes the reshaping of the conventions that much harder to overcome. You've observed from a young age this role-modeling, like I have also. We've been programmed to certain behavior patterns that to some people will mean reduced choices and frustration.
Not all men feel the suit of shiny armor fit right, nor princesses feel like being rescued. Women are underrepresented in many fields because of the expectation that they will quit their careers to be moms. No, I don't think that's a bad thing. But I tell my daughters that they should not expect to marry and live happily ever after. More like marry and work their tails off ever after. The reality is that all marriages are works in progress, even in Utah, where divorces hover at 50 percent.
Who then benefits, from stiff gender roles? I suppose conservative pockets of society, where people feel safe in the perpetuation of the same social roles. But who stands to lose? Only the people that wish they had more of a choice. In that case, we shouldn’t be telling our daughters that they can be anything they want to be.
I honestly really want my child to wear the color that is suppose to fit its gender. Reason being is because I don't want my child to get confused with what gender he or she is. If you generalize soo many thing with kids, they won't know what the heck or who the heck they are.
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